I'm OK

Surgery went fine today. The scarring was worse than the doc expected, but he was able to get it out. Thank you for your thoughts today. :)

That's really all you need to know. I'm going to write a few more details about my surgery... but if you have an queasy stomach or no interest in hearing about my nether-regions... you should just STOP HERE.

So the doctor came out and talked to Mom and Chris in the waiting room. Apparently the amount of scarring in my vaginal walls was the worst he's ever seen. He actually told my family that my scar tissue was like "barbed wire and steel". So, yeah. He resected 2 cones of scar tissue out of my main problem area and stitched it back up to heal horizontally. He also removed another section of scar tissue that was closer to the actual opening. My 20 minute surgery took almost an hour. Of course. I don't take traditional pain meds without getting extremely nauseous, but my anesthesiologist was great and covered me with fentanyl and anti-emetics. Dr. Hodges gave me a prescription of tramadol to take home too. But it still hurts. Not quite as bad as it did when I originally had Ledger... but close.

Probably the worst part for me is that the doctor does not think it would be advisable to try another vaginal delivery -- so if we decide to have kids in the future, it will have to be by c-section. I am very upset about this. Very. Since I was a teenager, I was always scared of the pain associated with childbirth. And after all of that worrying, I had a really great childbirth experience with a relatively easy delivery. So I was actually looking forward to having another baby in a few years... but now it won't be the same. They will have to cut the baby out of me! It is definitely going to weigh-in on my decision to have another child. The whole thing makes me very sad.