It is 5:00 a.m. as I write this post. I'm awake because Ledger is awake... again. As I have stated in a few other posts... our sleeping habits are all screwed up right now. He goes to bed really easily and wakes up once around midnight to eat again. After that midnight feeding, he wakes up every 2 hours and most nights I breast feed just to get him to sleep -- which is a really bad habit to get into. So tonight, he ate at 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. and woke up at 4 a.m. screaming mad. He's not gassy, because he burped really well after his previous feeding. I got up and changed his diaper -- another bad habit we've gotten into because it worked once to get him back to sleep.
So now he is awake and mad. I refuse to feed him because he just ate an hour ago -- he can't be hungry. He doesn't want his pacifier and he's fighting so hard that I can't get a swaddle around him. All of our resources give similar advice... most of them telling you to let them cry (checking on them every 5 minutes) until they fall asleep by themselves. This is supposed to teach them self-soothing. I can't put into words how hard it is to hear your baby crying and not run in and pick them up. So who is going to soothe me while I sit here at 5:00 a.m. listening to my baby cry on the baby monitor!?
UPDATE 9/20/2009: Thank you to everyone who read my 5 a.m. post and commented with support and empathy. As with everything, there are good days and bad days... and that was a bad day. The last few days have been better -- with fewer night time feedings and less time awake between feedings.