Friday, September 18, 2009

5 a.m.

It is 5:00 a.m. as I write this post. I'm awake because Ledger is awake... again. As I have stated in a few other posts... our sleeping habits are all screwed up right now. He goes to bed really easily and wakes up once around midnight to eat again. After that midnight feeding, he wakes up every 2 hours and most nights I breast feed just to get him to sleep -- which is a really bad habit to get into. So tonight, he ate at 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. and woke up at 4 a.m. screaming mad. He's not gassy, because he burped really well after his previous feeding. I got up and changed his diaper -- another bad habit we've gotten into because it worked once to get him back to sleep.

So now he is awake and mad. I refuse to feed him because he just ate an hour ago -- he can't be hungry. He doesn't want his pacifier and he's fighting so hard that I can't get a swaddle around him. All of our resources give similar advice... most of them telling you to let them cry (checking on them every 5 minutes) until they fall asleep by themselves. This is supposed to teach them self-soothing. I can't put into words how hard it is to hear your baby crying and not run in and pick them up. So who is going to soothe me while I sit here at 5:00 a.m. listening to my baby cry on the baby monitor!?

UPDATE 9/20/2009: Thank you to everyone who read my 5 a.m. post and commented with support and empathy. As with everything, there are good days and bad days... and that was a bad day. The last few days have been better -- with fewer night time feedings and less time awake between feedings.


  1. Wish I had the secret to share with you! I was awake too this could have been crying on my shoulder, you poor thing. Hang in there! In time, it will be better....

  2. Hang in there. It will pass. Everybody and every baby is different. We don't do the crying out thing here because I know your pain. I just couldn't do it, but we had a baby in bed with us until they are about 1, so I can't give you any of our advice. People would cringe, even though I love it. We just do what is best for us and find a niche that works for you. Wish I lived closer to help out. Ledger would love spending his days with his rowdy cousins.

  3. Wish I could be there to help. I think he is crying because he has not seen his auntie Em for nearly 1 whole week! If you bring him up here, I promise I'll get up with him instead of you! Hope tonight is better! We love you!

  4. It is the hardest thing you have to do...Brian used to have to hold me in bed to let Kristen cry it out. I promise, it gets better. He should be able to make it through with only one or maybe two feedings a night. I remember your pain, but I also know it passes! Hang in there!!!